Awesome Pirates

Wired took a break from tech for a verrrry special Tech Support episode. They enlisted historian Angus Konstam to answer crowdsourced questions about pirates. Learn about the origin of the pirate accent, some of the most successful or cruelest pirates, their customs and pastimes, and more in this eyepatch-opening Q&A session.

This unique tiki mug from artist Tom “Thor” Thordarson and Tikiland Trading Co. looks like an old bottle that washed up on the shore. Look closer, and you’ll see a detailed shipwreck scene surrounded by barnacles and a starfish. The ceramic mug holds about 24 oz. of your favorite rum and fruit juice concoction. Pre-orders ship starting in late 2023.

(PG-13: Language) Want to know the true story of Blackbeard’s last stand? Look no further than the music video for Alestorm’s track The Battle of Cape Fear River. It’s just one of the pirate metal tracks off of their latest album Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum. Turn captions on for lyrics – including the guitar solo.

Rhys Darby (Murray from Flight of the Conchords) stars in this high-seas comedy adventure series about a wealthy man who abandons his life of privilege to become a pirate. Taika Waititi, the busiest man in Hollywood, does double duty as Executive Producer and performs as Blackbeard. Premieres 3.2022 on HBO Max.

Ever wonder why pirates flew the Jolly Roger (aka Skull & Bones) flag? CGP Grey digs into the often flamboyant approach of infamous pirates like Blackbeard, along with some of the clever tricks they used to lure their victims and steal their riches. Learn about the business of piracy here. Inspired by the book The Invisible Hook.

Inspired by a fan-submitted design, this LEGO set lets you build your own pirate ship, shipwrecked on an island. The 2545-piece kit features lots of awesome details like a captain’s cabin, kitchen, tavern, bedroom and jail cell, while the island splits in half to reveal treasure. Measures over 23″ H x 25″ W x 12″ D when complete.

Yarrrrrr! Avast, ye mateys! Shiver me timbers! That’s how we generally think that pirates spoke. But it turns out that it’s a complete fabrication. Cheddar explains where that familiar pirate speak came from, and theorizes on what they might have actually sounded like.

Sea of Thieves is a lighthearted first-person multiplayer pirate adventure game. Form a crew with up to three other players and take on quests, meet or battle other crews, or just drink grog and play the hurdy gurdy while you sail the seas. Drops 2018 for Xbox One and Windows.

Captain Jack Sparrow returns to the big screen for another Pirates of the Caribbean adventure, as he searches the high seas for the trident of Poseidon, while being pursued by the evil Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) and his army of undead pirates.

(PG-13: Language) Movies have glorified the swashbuckling pirate lifestyle, but the reality is that they had it pretty bad, especially when it came to food, diseases, and overcrowded ships. Sam O’Nella explains why you should stop singing “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.”

Windy day? While you could set sail on the high seas for adventure, this easy-to-fly 3-dimensional pirate ship kite lets you go sailing without ever leaving the beach. Check them out on video at Vat19.

Made by Joseph Sandor, the Pirate Pancake Griddle is a cast-iron mold with a skull & crossbones design. Makes three 5″ pancakes per batch. The griddle can also be used to fry other food. Plus, blueberry eyeballs.

A book that packs three great genres under a single cover. Not only does it have ninjas, pirates and zombies (and a unicorn) – it’s described as “part Napoleon Dynamite, part The Matrix.”

A pirate digs for buried treasure, and gets an unexpected surprise in place of his usual bounty. A clever and funny claymation short courtesy of Samuel Lewis and Oh Yeah Wow.

Hugh Grant stars as a luxuriantly bearded Pirate Captain in Aardman’s latest, who aspires to win the Pirate Of The Year Award, despite a rag-tag crew and impossible odds. (Thanks Anthony!)

(NSFW: Language) The Lonely Island are joined by Michael Bolton for their latest track, although we’re not sure that they actually recorded the same song. Mr. Bolton, you’ve finally won us over.