THE BEST The Onion

The Onion: NASA’s Epiphany

The Onion: NASA’s Epiphany

Biting satire from The Onion. America’s finest news source imagines what would happen if the folks at NASA had a change of heart and decided that they were looking for the wrong things in the wrong places. Yeah love, bitch!

The Onion: Teens Leaving Facebook

The Onion: Teens Leaving Facebook

America’s Finest News Source reports on the rise of a new social media site: a random YouTube video. Come on guys, let’s make this work. And by “work” we mean totally misuse comments sections. We’ll be hangin’ at Happy Fast Kitchen.

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Everyone Knows You’re High

Everyone Knows You’re High

“New research indicates that your brain got broken and you shouldn’t have done this.” The Onion stokes the stoner’s paranoia with this hilarious skit. The fun doesn’t stop here: their site has several slightly different versions of the clip.

Netflix Browse Endlessly Plan

Netflix Browse Endlessly Plan

The Onion suggests a new plan for Netflix users. For just $5 a month, you’ll be able to skim through Netflix’s library, judge what to watch by the posters, then never actually watch anything. It’s channel surfing 2.0.

The Perfect Work-Life Balance

The Perfect Work-Life Balance

The Onion checks in with a revitalized man, who told sources that he’s enjoyed the right mix of work and personal time ever since he got fired from his job. Once again, American’s Finest News Source is as funny as it is poignant.

The Onion on The Shining

The Onion on The Shining

(NSFW: Language) For his Halloween episode, The Onion’s resident film critic Peter K. Rosenthal talked about the classic horror film The Shining. Or at least that was the plan. No, he’s not Danny Lloyd, and no, we don’t care.

The Onion: CEO’s Success Story

The Onion: CEO’s Success Story

Success. Some people have a natural knack for it, while others work hard for it. This young CEO? He was born into it. America’s Finest News Source presents a picture perfect story of triumph and birthright.

The Onion vs The Internship

The Onion vs The Internship

America’s Finest News Source The Onion thinks that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson’s upcoming comedy flick The Internship is a must watch… for anyone who hasn’t seen a movie since 2005. Oh snap!

Onion News Empire (Trailer)

Onion News Empire (Trailer)

A new comedy series by The Onion, Onion News Empire pokes fun at HBO’s The Newsroom and news media in general. Starring Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development). The first episode is free, but it’s an Amazon exclusive.

The Onion: Apple Maps

The Onion: Apple Maps

Breaking news! Apple is reportedly working to fix its Maps snafu with a global effort that will soon make their app very useful, if not necessary, to get around. We hope Google Planet is finished soon.

The Onion Talks

The Onion Talks

The Onion Talks pokes fun at the sometimes pretentious TED Talks. The latest video talks about a recent online trend: clueless companies hiring other people to connect them to social media.

The Book of Known Knowledge

The Book of Known Knowledge

(NSFW: Language) From America’s Finest News Source comes the only book you’ll ever need. The Onion Book of Known Knowledge: buy it or remain an idiot forever. Sample entries here and here.

HP Is Into That Cloud Thing

HP Is Into That Cloud Thing

According to The Onion, HP doesn’t just sell affordable computers (that are worth their weight in repair costs later on). Soon, the company will be offering that cloud thing everyone’s talking about.

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Killer Prius

Killer Prius

The Onion reveals the latest in eco-friendly cars, the new Toyota Prius Solution, which automatically decreases its owner’s environmental footprint by systematically eliminating them.

The Onion: Online Scam Alert

The Onion: Online Scam Alert

(NSFW: Language) Did you know that there’s a website that allows anyone to beg for money to fund whatever awful plan they had in mind? Be wary of these Kickstarter projects.

The Onion: Breaking News

The Onion: Breaking News

The Onion has stumbled upon a scoop so fresh even they have no idea what it’s about. Or if there’s even anything worth reporting. It’s all fun and games until the real world proves it true.

The Onion: Miners Trapped

The Onion: Miners Trapped

The Onion reports that a group of miners are unable to escape… from their jobs. We don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Also, hear about this new thing we should all be scared of/laughing about.

The Onion x Harry Potter

The Onion x Harry Potter

The Onion takes a stab at Hollywood’s franchise milking as they reveal Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: Parts 1 to 7. Also, we hope none of you are as hopeless as these guys.

The Screenwriter of Fast Five

The Screenwriter of Fast Five

The morning program of The Onion had a short talk with the screenwriter of the upcoming movie Fast Five, 5-year old Chris Morgan. We could think of a few other movies that he might have written.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

We didn’t even know Infinity Ward was working on this sequel, but the guys at America’s Finest News Source broke the story on the latest addition to the franchise, the most realistic war game yet.

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Bullet Bus

Bullet Bus

Screw high-speed railways. America’s #1 source of satire has just reported that instead of expensive bullet trains, you’ll be getting bullet buses. Stay the hell out of the shoulder lanes people.

The Montana Merkle

The Montana Merkle

(NSFW) This rare avian species is being over-hunted to near extinction, primarily due to some of annoying traits, including its offensive “f*ck you” call and disgusting mating rituals.

Apple Friend Bar

Apple Friend Bar

The Onion reports on Apple’s new Friend Bar, where Fanboys and Fangirls can head when they really want someone to talk at about why Snow Leopard 10.6.4 kicks the ass of 10.6.2.

Al-Qaeda Loves Twilight

Al-Qaeda Loves Twilight

Breaking news from The Onion: The Al-Qaeda aborted an attack on Washington DC to spare the life of Twilight series author Stephanie Meyer, who was in a shopping mall near the target location.

Paltrow Punched in Iron Man 2

Paltrow Punched in Iron Man 2

The Onion picks on Gwyneth Paltrow, reporting that people now want to see Iron Man 2 even more to watch for a scene where Paltrow supposedly gets punched in the face.

2018 NASA Girl Approach

2018 NASA Girl Approach

They can put a man on the moon, but Houston definitely has a problem when it comes to the opposite sex; NASA’s plan to approach a girl by 2018 is a total failure to launch.

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