Being forced to review the godawful looking Fifty Shades Freed throws The Onion film critic Peter K. Rosenthal into a serious existential crisis and downward spiral. The best part of this “review” is how little actual footage from the film you’ll be subjected to.
The Onion film critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at one of our all-time favorite Christmas movies, and contemplates what wonders the employees of the Nakatomi Corporation missed out on when their office Christmas party was rudely interrupted by an exceptional thief.
The Onion’s latest Sports Science parody reveals that synchronized swimmers are controlled by a hive mind. They are incredibly attuned to each other’s states and are ruthlessly devoted to perfection. Disobedience will not be tolerated. Resistance is futile.
“Who are all these goddamn people?!” The Onion’s film critic Peter K. Rosenthal was thoroughly confused by Captain America: Civil War‘s ensemble cast. Who is Black Widow? Or Falcon? What motivates Random Bystander? Seriously though, stop with the origin stories.
(PG-13: Language) For The Onion, film critic Peter Rosenthal, Star Wars: The Force Awakens will never be as good as the first movie in the series. But he knows that for many horny teens, it – and heck, potentially any movie – will be their best movie ever.
“No one gets ahead without someone else falling behind.” Satirical film critic Peter Rosenthal shares his take on the original Back to the Future, arguing that it’s an indictment of Reaganomics. It’s like The Onion is trying to be funny but ends up keeping it real.
In The Awesomer Shop