Movies

(PG-13: Language) In most cases, actors that chew the scenery just make a bad movie worse. But as this video shows, that’s not always the case. Chodmunch compiled this collection of performances so epically bad, they’re actually good. Oh man! Oh God!

(PG-13, Gore) IGN sums up the Alien movies in chronological order. Put this way, the movies sound cliché and underwhelming, but it’s a good way to catch up before watching Alien: Covenant. TL;DW: sex is bad, and your kids will kill you.

“Time is the story and we are the characters.” The Royal Ocean Film of Society looks back at Michael Apted’s Up Series. Arguably the best reality show ever, its 48-year (and counting) span, grounded perspective and willing cast make for a fragmented mirror of our lives.

(SPOILERS) “Your effort to remain what you are is what limits you.” Wisecrack argues that the original Ghost in the Shell animated film is a pragmatic view of man’s ultimate relationship with technology, based on the philosophies of G.W.F. Hegel.

Tested’s Adam Savage has been granted behind-the-scenes access to the set of Ridley Scott’s upcoming Alien: Covenant. In the first episode, he checks out the tunnel and cavern that serve as the Dreadnought’s interior, along with the imposing Space Jockey’s platform.

(SPOILERS) “Arrival depicts humanity’s response to a profound paradigm shift. Which is also what I call my bowel movements.” An extra sarcastic Garyx Wormuloid expounds on the sci-fi drama Arrival and its themes of time and perspective.

(PG-13) Writer-director Jeff Baena (Life After Beth) let Alison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Kate Micucci and the rest of the cast flex their improv skills in this anachronistic comedy about repressed nuns in 15th century Italy. Also starring John C. Reilly, Nick Offerman and Fred Armisen.

Texas-based clothing company Boriz Jerseys specializes in bootleg retro sports apparel. But they also have a ton of replica jerseys worn by characters from classic TV shows and movies, including Steamin’ Willie Beamen, Steve Urkel and Charlie Conway.

Based on Vince Flynn’s secret agent novels about Mitch Rapp, who becomes a deadly secret agent to compensate for the fact that his name befits a stand-up comedian. Just kidding. Loved one dies, wants revenge, trains with Batman, walks away from explosions.

CineFix gives their top examples for each of a movie’s five chapters: the call to adventure, the start of the adventure, the adventure itself, the climax, and the resolution. We’re sad that Your Name, The Usual Suspects or Se7en aren’t even mentioned here.

(PG-13: Language) Ryan Reynolds plays a high-profile bodyguard who is forced to protect one of his mortal enemies – an assassin played by Samuel L. Jackson. But they’re basically themselves in this horribly green-screened action comedy. “And aaaah I…”

(SPOILERS) “Do you hear the Wolverine? Finally finished with the fight. All of his stabbing of the people who do not know wrong from right.” How It Should Have Ended suggests that Hugh Jackman’s last portrayal of Wolverine should have ended as Les Miserables.

(SPOILERS) Screen Junkies roasts Star Wars’ 200-million-dollar plot filler. Rogue One is the most exciting movie based on copying a file, despite the fact that Bodhi already managed to escape with a thumb dri– you know what? Vader made it all worth it.

From filmmaker Derik Murray (I Am Chris Farley) comes a documentary about the late actor Heath Ledger. The film features interviews with the actors’ close friends and family as well as footage shot by Ledger himself. Premieres 5/17/17 on Spike. Also coming to Blu-ray.

This Netflix documentary chronicles the experience of a batch of teenagers at the NASA Space Camp, juxtaposed with interviews with Neil deGrasse Tyson, Elon Musk and other experts regarding the current state of space travel. Premieres 5/5/17.

Henry is an incredibly precocious 11-year-old who loves to look after his younger brother and their mother. He ends up asking her to use a sniper rifle against their neighbor, the town’s police chief. Wait what? The Book of Henry is certainly an intriguing film. Drops 6/16/17.

The clown industry’s going to tank (even harder) in 2017. Warner Bros. re-adapts Stephen King’s excellent 1986 horror novel about a malevolent being who takes the form of a clown in order to lure and kill children. Finn Wolfhard stars in Stranger Danger IT.

CineFix shares its top ten picks for movies that made the best use of silence. Most of the movies are “silent” in that the characters barely speak. But there are also animated musicals, a sign language film, and a movie with a totally silent scene.

After he dies, a loving husband turns into a ghost, unwilling to leave his and his wife’s home, ignoring the passage of time. Casey Affleck, Rooney Mara and writer-director David Lowery reunite for this “gently devastating” and critically–acclaimed drama.

“If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.” Spider-Man: Homecoming appears to be a reverse origin story: young Peter Parker already has super powers, but not a real reason or appreciation for what it means to be a hero.

Wisecrack convincingly argues that the Nolan brothers bit off way more than they could chew for the Dark Knight trilogy’s finale. Despite being nearly 3 hours long, the movie didn’t have enough time to be both a remake of A Tale of Two Cities and a conclusion to the trilogy.

(PG-13) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is a comedy drama starring Frances McDormand as a mother who is frustrated with the lack of progress in her daughter’s murder case. She puts up three billboards to rile things up. Directed by Martin McDonagh (In Bruges).

Kevin Hart, Thomas Middleditch, Ed Helms and Nick Kroll star in this animated adaptation of Dav Pilkey’s beloved children’s novels. It’s about two fourth graders who accidentally turned their mean principal into the non-hero called Captain Underpants.

(Gore) Elem Klimov’s Come and See is widely regarded as one of the best war movies ever made. Channel Criswell explains how Klimov broke from the fundamentals of sound and perspective in order to effectively express the mind-breaking brutality of war.

(PG-13: Language) “The king stay the king.” In movies and TV shows, a game of chess isn’t just shown to imply that a character is smart. Now You See It points out the many implications and purposes of showing the strategic board game to viewers.