THE BEST Fred

Pizza Boss 3000

Pizza Boss 3000

Resembling a miniature circular saw, Fred’s Pizza Boss 3000 makes quick work of pepperoni, cheese, and crust. It features a contoured grip, engineering-grade plastics, and a laser-etched stainless steel blade to ensure clean cuts.

Beer Pretzel Bottle Opener

Beer Pretzel Bottle Opener

Try opening a beer with your jaws, and you might chip a tooth. Try with a pretzel, and you’ll get a pile of crumbs. But Fred’s Beer Pretzel has a proper bottle opener built into its bottom, assuring you of a properly opened bottle every time. It also doubles as a chip clip.

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Filing Saucer Paperclip Dispenser

Filing Saucer Paperclip Dispenser

Nope, that’s not a typo. This silly desktop organizer from Fred looks like a tiny U.F.O., complete with a tractor beam. A magnet in the bottom of the saucer makes it look like the aliens are abducting the appropriately cow-shaped paper clips. We bet the fluorescent acrylic would look sweet under black light.

Factometer Thermometer

Factometer Thermometer

Why check the temperature with an ordinary thermometer, when you can check it with bonus trivia? Fred’s all-season thermometer includes facts from -40ºF to 140ºF and from -40ºC to 60ºC, so you can compare your current climate to other notable moments in time. Made from durable enameled steel.

Great Write Pencil Sharpener

Great Write Pencil Sharpener

We’re going to need a bigger eraser. This shark-shaped sharpener (sharkener?) is ready to chomp down on your pencils and give them a nice point that’s as sharp as a great white’s tooth. We don’t recommend attempting this with an actual shark.

F’Yeah Mug

F’Yeah Mug

Having a great day? Then share how you’re really feeling with Fred’s profanity-laden coffee mug. It’s got four-times the F’Yeahs, done up in a spiffy 1970s typeface and color scheme. Holds 16 ounces of your favorite hot stuff, plus it’s microwave and dishwasher safe.

Pick-Its Cocktail Picks

Pick-Its Cocktail Picks

What do we want? Drinks! When do we want them? NOW! Fred’s clever cocktail picks let you protest your desire for booze with amusing slogans like “Garnish Drinks Not Wages” and “Four More Beers!” Sold in a set of 24, with two of each design.

Pinned Up Corkboard Set

Pinned Up Corkboard Set

Too many sticky notes sprawled all over your desk? Keep your personal space organized with Fred’s moon-shaped corkboard and pin set. Each of its six pushpins look like tiny astronauts as they float above the lunar surface. Measures 7″ in diameter.

Cheese Degrees Cheese Board

Cheese Degrees Cheese Board

From Fred, the makers of the Obsessive Chef cutting board comes a wooden cheese board that ensures every wedge, cube, chunk, slice, sliver, slab, and hunk of chevre, cheddar, camody, colby, or camembert meets your exacting standards.

Ice-Pop Flask

Ice-Pop Flask

Here’s a new place to hide your hooch – inside of a popsicle. Instead of getting brain freeze, you’ll get a buzz from Fred’s whimsical drink container. The stainless steel flask holds 3 oz. of booze, and comes in raspberry and grape.

Party Boat Shot Glass Set

Party Boat Shot Glass Set

Fred’s whimsical cork boat comes with a set of four aluminum shot glasses that look like smokestacks on a mini steam ship. It’s perfect for pool parties, since the whole thing actually floats on water if you so desire. Though it’s still cool without the pool.

OUCH! Toothpick Holder

OUCH! Toothpick Holder

The perfect way to serve Hors D’oeuvres for your Halloween party, this amusing silicone toothpick holder lets your guests get all stabby with a tiny houseguest. We think if you stuck those frilly red picks in backwards it would look like blood was gushing out.

Slow Brew Sloth Tea Infuser

Slow Brew Sloth Tea Infuser

Let a tiny sloth enjoy a warm bath in your cup of organic cinnamon rooibos chai with this hilarious tea infuser based on the lovable and slow-moving mammal. Just don’t blame us if you end up with any sloth poop in your drink.

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