“Go ahead and buy sweet and succulent tree fetuses. They’re just gonna rot on your counter anyway.” Cracked and Roger the educational Satan are back to explain how groceries use psychology and statistics to make us spend and eat more.
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Cracked points out why the live action Batman TV series and films look the way they do and are so distinct. They are products of their times, a reflection of America’s past three decades. Though we refuse to believe that Joel Schumacher’s 2-film run was the ’90s fault.
“In reality, you’re 5,000 times more likely to get hit by lightning.” Cracked’s scumbag businessman reminds us that you’re better off doing anything else with your cash than playing the lottery. It’s fun to dream, but lotteries prey on needy folks by offering false hopes.
Cracked points out the go-to tricks of today’s movie trailers. There’s the overly long title presentation with imposing fonts for action movies, the folk guitar intro for indie movies, and our favorite, the “Transformer losing his boner” sound for epic scenes.
(PG-13: Language) It’s not that we expected flawless logic from Pinocchio, but as Cracked explains this Disney classic doesn’t make sense even on its own terms, from Geppetto’s carelessness with his prized child to Jiminy Cricket talking about snitching in a kids’ movie.
Cracked continues its quest to obliterate any chance of selling ads on its YouTube channel, this time taking on big soda brands like Coke and Pepsi, and the fact that we’re willing not only to pay for a can of fizzy water, high fructose corn syrup, acids, and dyes, but to drink it.
Did you know that an idiot intentionally caused a train collision as a spectacle? And that lady in the sketch? That’s Pocahontas. Or not. After all, our idea of Shakespeare’s looks is based on the work of a mediocre artist who never even met the man. All that and more in Cracked’s video.
(PG-13: Language) “I am telling you that it’s not as awesome as I keep accidentally making it sound!” Cracked breaks down the main story of Assassin’s Creed and why it’s gone down the drain: because this theoretically cool series should’ve ended long ago. Skip to 1:34.
Woody and his fellow toys appear to be immortal, so they’ll inevitably lose the humans they love. On the other hand, they traumatized Sid, who’s merely as crazy as any real kid. That and more in Cracked’s surprisingly convincing dismantling of Toy Story‘s charm.
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