Collegehumor

Capt. Picard and the NCC-1701-D fight Darth Vader and the Death Star in a battle to determine who’s dorkier. Is it the jargon-spewing slumber party or the cult of rave toys? All we know is we wish there was a Star Riker show.

Having trouble using a selfie stick? CollegeHumor suggests using an ancient technique: bring a friend – or make a new one! – and have them take your picture. The joke kind of misses the point of a selfie, but it’s still funny.

(PG-13 Language) CollegeHumor’s cynical break down of some of the people that join recreational sports leagues and their reasons for signing up. Hint: it’s not about health. Well, not physical health.

“I guess it’s just better to leave the memories of the memories as memories.” CollegeHumor points out the commercialization and obsolesence of nostalgia while going through the motions of being nostalgic.

(PG-13: Language) Collegehumor returns with more Game of Thrones dream scenarios, from the three-eyed crow getting straight to the point to Daenerys, well, getting straight to the point. No Reek and Ramsay body swap?

(NSFW: Language) “…it allows you to communicate with unrivaled accuracy that you have $10,000.” When you create a gadget that’s easy to lose and destined to be obsolete yet costs up to $17,000, you deserve to be mocked.

“Oh! Nice to meet you hungry, I’m Dad!”  Two of the corniest fathers on Earth have a showdown at a family restaurant. Everybody loses. We call this one Once a Pun a Time in the West. BA-BAM! We could totally beat these guys. That’s sad.

(NSFW: Language) This argument seems counter-intuitive and callous at first but it’s actually pretty simple. Tipping lets restaurants get away with lower wages for their servers. But until they raise said wages, we need to leave tips.

(NSFW: Language) CollegeHumor takes time off from creating skits to play a nerdy quiz show. The contestants are tasked with pointing out and correcting the inaccurate detail in statements about science fiction, fantasy and accounting.

(NSFW: Language) CollegeHumor juxtaposes two types of childhood ruination: the one where Michael Bay screws up your favorite cartoons, and the one where real sh*t went down. Here’s a parody: “Stop taking expressions seriously.”

(NSFW: Language) CollegeHumor hyperbolizes the Ted Mosbys of the world. You know, those smartasses who unironically insist on pronouncing foreign words the way native speakers would.

(NSFW, Gross) Your pocket rocket is a sight to behold in the bedroom, but its larval stage leaves much to be desired. The solution? A non-stop inbetwiener, courtesy of Collegehumor’s warped imagination.

(NSFW: Language) Collegehumor breaks down how we sometimes decide which TV shows to watch based on their reputation and how cool they’ll make you seem. Seriously though why the hell did Bill Murray even do Garfield?

Wanna know how to get virtual approval from strangers online? Talk about stuff that’s already popular, boast about witty ways of being mean to others and worship celebrities. Sometimes the web seems like an adolescent’s version of TMZ.

(NSFW: Language, Gross) Collegehumor has a parable for people who keep on using “literally” instead of “figuratively” to bolster their statements. How on earth did this become a thing anyway?

(NSFW: Language) …or 10 reasons not to get married. CollegeHumor looks at the ridiculous hoops that many couples go through just so they can take their relationship to the same level, only legalized.

(NSFW: Language) A man invites his date to his place. She promptly snoops around and stumbles upon… his Netflix account. Collegehumor reminds us that you shouldn’t judge a book by its viewing habits. Also anime are awesome.

CollegeHumor reminds us that keeping a dog’s breed pure often causes their descendants to be more prone to health problems, all so that we could keep or exaggerate the traits that we like about that breed.

“Attention is the scalpel you use to cut away the fat from your life. But the Internet has robbed you of it.” CollegeHumor gets serious for 3 minutes and 5 seconds. The lesson’s obvious, but the experience may make you admit your faults.

Columbusing (\kə-ˈləm-bəs-iŋ\) verb: to discover something for white people. CollegeHumor puts a name to a phenomenon that creates trends without giving their originators credit. Have you guys heard about this pea coat thing?

A concerned mother confronts his son about his crippling addiction. He doesn’t even know if he’s enjoying what he’s doing anymore. It’s just one hit after another. Props on Crackle Cocaine, but how could they miss Methflix?

Collegehumor pokes fun at the paralyzing guilt induced by the Web, where you can easily find out about the unspeakable horrors that make all the things you enjoy possible. We love how they had to explicitly spell out the joke anyway.

Have you just been given the honor to be your buddy’s best man? Scrap your plans. Collegehumor knows what your boy really wants: the once-in-a-lifetime chance to hang out with the cute barista from his local coffee shop.

(NSFW: Language, Sbroilers) Collegehumor takes what should be a shallow joke – Oscars for frat bros – and runs with it. Find out which movie characters bros think they can beat in a fight, what makes them mad sad and more.

(NSFW: Language) CollegeHumor imagines – or perhaps they were ordered to imagine – a local commercial for the recent Winter Olympics starring Russian President Vladimir Putin, sweaty gold and DJ Snowden.