Awesome Ties

Calamityware makes traditional-looking porcelain plates, bowls, and cups with monsters, alien invasions, and giant frogs hiding in plain sight. They’ve now turned their Things Could Be Worse pattern into a collection of silks, including a square scarf, a long scarf, a pocket square, and this necktie. If we still had to wear ties to work, this one would be in heavy rotation.

It’s becoming more and more rare that guys have to regularly wear neckties, so the skill of tying one is becoming a lost art. DaveHax shows us a truly unique way to get a perfect knot every time – before you even put the tie around your neck.

If you have to wear a tie to a formal event, it might as well be a really cool one. We like these dramatic designs from UK outfit Dapper Jack, which are crafted from carbon fiber woven with kevlar or polyester, then lined with satin for comfort and wearability.

High tech design studio Nervous System has outdone themselves, with the creation of truly stunning neckties which double as wearable works of art. The interlocking pieces are printed from nylon, and are hinged to move fluidly. Each is printed to order, so be patient.

If you’re going to wear a tie, it should be something distinctive. Damico’s laser-cut aluminum bow ties are just that. They come in 11 different designs and five colors, and eliminate the need for tying. Comes in a spiffy wooden box.

If you have to wear a tie, let it be one from Cyberoptix’s collection of handprinted neckwear. Of particular note are the “too cool for school” ties, which look like ruled notebook paper. Available in several colors, and skinny or normal.

Birties breaks convention with awesome cotton bow ties printed with vibrant images from pop culture and everyday objects. Whether you like Mrs. Fields, Mario Bros., Joy Division or Van Gogh, there’s a bow tie for everyone.

BÖ handcrafts wooden ties out of reclaimed raw materials. It uses leftover wood from North American wood processing facilities for the tie, leftover leather from Israel for the strap and paper twine from Austria for the accent.

Send Skinny Fatties your outdated fat neckties and they’ll trim them down to stylish skinny ties. You can specify the width you want, from 2″ to 3″, with quarter inch increments in between.

Two Guys Bow Ties offers handcrafted bow ties made of wood and fabric. You don’t have to tie – or untie – them, they’re easy to clean and they’re available in a variety of quirky designs.

Rucksack maker Goruck takes the military-grade materials used in their bags and has created a line of casual ties that can stand up to just about anything you throw at ’em. Buy classic and skinny.

Wood Thumb finally gives us another option when it comes to decorative things to drape around our necks. Lightweight and flexible, each tie is made from a unique piece of reclaimed wood.

Stand out (not like a sore thumb) and proclaim your gamer identity at your next fancy event with this playful silk tie featuring random offset space invaders. We’re hoping it’s a skinny one.

Made in the USA, designer Hugh Simms’ Caulfield ties are best described as “Ivy League Grit”; each features English prep school patterns and disheveled, hand-dyed patchwork.

Those of us not brave enough to quit our jobs in a blaze of nerf glory can still subvert the man with Twisted Ties; they may be dapper on the front but are deviant on the back.

If your workplace insists on shirts and ties, these Classic Video Game Ties let you flaunt your 8-bit gamer cred while adhering to dress code; the Asteroids tie won’t even raise an eyebrow.